Sometimes when I run I listen to loud, fast music with more than enough curse words.
Sometimes I listen to the Bible.
Go figure that one out.
As a nine on the enneagram, people can sometimes hear the label “peacemaker” and think that means passive or not assertive.
But now that I’m 42 years old and have been living with my type nine self for as long as I have, I’ve learned a few things. I’ve also been studying the enneagram for about two years now and am continually learning about all the styles, especially mine.
Running … Enneagram … Where am I going?
Well here’s what I know.
The underlying emotion of the NINE is anger (this is also the underlying emotion of some other types). An unhealthy nine can express this anger passive-aggressively. Passive meaning it’s not in your face, but it’s still very aggressive. An unhealthy nine is passive aggressive because she feels and thinks very strongly, but she is unwilling or unable to DECLARE her needs and wants.
I have learned to recognize my anger, over time, and now try really hard to use it to push me forward to the peace I desire.
Like with running. I had the best and longest run this morning that I’ve had in a while. But my life has been super stressful lately and to be honest (although you may not see it written on my face), I’ve been really pissed about it. I’ve cried, I’ve prayed, I’ve talked to friends — but what to do with that anger?
A healthy NINE is always leaning into her struggle. Always seeking the greater meaning. Always in pursuit of DECLARING her wants and needs.
Nines have a sense that all things are connected. Spiritual + Mental + Physical. Running allows me to express the anger I’m feeling in a very healthy way. Physically I benefit, but girl let me tell you mentally and spiritually the benefits are so much greater for me!
The aggressive part of my nine is someone I’m starting to really really like. I like that she sets boundaries. I like that she says NO to people and things that aren’t aligning with her belief system. I like that she runs hard and long. I like that she is accepting of everyone, but not influenced easily by others.
Because what I will fight really hard for is peace and community and integrity. I will run hard for it. I will work hard for it. I will say no to a lot of shit for it. And I will say YES to the right shit for it.
Happy running, friends. Or whatever healthy thing you do that helps you heal and grow.
And for real, if you still haven’t taken the REAL enneagram (not a fake test), go do it!! Self awareness is pretty badass ; )